There once was an Englishman who lived in London. One day, he found the entrance of a secret tunnel, hidden in a brier patch, that led to a majestic golden door in a subterranean city. Standing next to that golden door was a monk, clothed in a plain brown habit, bound at the waist with a thin cord.
The monk bowed and said, “Wherefore hath thou come, traveler? Art thou a vagabond?”
“No,” quoth the Englishman, shaking his head and gesturing towards the towering golden door. “What lies behind that door, noble monk?”
The monk bowed again and said, “I cannot tell thee, for you are not worthy of knowing.”
The Englishman, bemused, replied thusly: “How, then, can I become worthy?”
The monk bowed a third time and said, “You must count every blade of grass in England.”
The Englishman, startled, bid the monk goodbye and set out to complete the task. It took a very long while, and when he had finished, he returned to the monk and said, “I am finished. Now show me what is behind this door.”
The monk bowed a fourth time and said, “No. You are still not worthy, my friend. You must now count every drop of water in the ocean.”
The Englishman was frightened, and, with the thought of this novel difficult challenge, he set out to complete the task laid before him. Once he had finished, he returned to the monk and said, “I have counted every drop. Now, reveal what is beyond this door!”
The monk bowed a fifth and final time and said, “So it shall be, for you are now worthy.” The door opened, and the Englishman’s eyes grew wide with shock and pleasure.
Do you know what was behind that door?
We can’t tell you. You’re not worthy.
In Christ,
Ryan
Writings of Ongorvad 
John Sawatzky said,
June 2, 2011 at 11:07 pm
Well written, random, and a great ending. Keep it up! (I think that those days of writers block are behind you now).
ryan4143 said,
June 3, 2011 at 6:34 am
Thanks, John! I can’t take credit for the source material, though; I got the joke from the Renaissance Festival 🙂
John Sawatzky said,
June 3, 2011 at 7:50 am
Well, then it was terrible.
Actually, conforming one’s words to a set source material is a very valuable skill 🙂
John Sawatzky said,
June 3, 2011 at 9:43 am
Oh, and it turns out that there is 1,233,020,478,692 blades of grass in England, and 6,730,112,958,036,747,129 drops of water in the ocean. Am I worthy now?
ryan4143 said,
June 3, 2011 at 10:45 pm
The monk told me to relay this message:
“No. You are still not worthy. You must now count every cell in every person’s body, both those who are living and those who are dead.
John Sawatzky said,
June 4, 2011 at 2:51 pm
That number won’t fit on my calculator, even in scientific notation.
abbidabbidooloo said,
June 5, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Bahahahahaha 😀
ryan4143 said,
June 6, 2011 at 4:09 pm
😀